Have you ever paused in the middle of a footstep and felt an unbearable sadness creeping up from behind?
In the time it takes for you to place your foot on the ground to complete your stride the sadness falls instep, accompanying you till such time as it pleases. This sadness is transient yet its element of surprise is as consistent as the pain you’ll feel if a brick was thrown at you and did not miss the mark. It hurts.
You feel a twinge. The little bundle of His in your heart is strung like the chords of an old guitar being tested for a new melody. It quivers, scared it might be broken, or worse – out of tune.
You feel a twinge of acceptance. The sadness manages to catch you off guard but the crushing weight of a lonely existence feels familiar. Much like a tight embrace from a loved one which makes it difficult to breathe fully. Comforting in its inherent discomfort.
You feel a twinge. It is sudden, a pain smack in the middle of your consciousness, but not localised. It spills over from the dark, murky streams of subconscious thought.
Within five steps you realise—again—that the last few years have all been alone.
And you keep walking. It is but a twinge after all.
“Well I tried to repress it and I carried its crown
I reached out to undress it and love let me down
Love let me down…“