The Verdict, now what?

I’am afraid to walk in the dark alone
i can’t wear the trendy clothes i own
I can’t work, i can’t party
i’am scared by my own shadow.
In my purse i now carry,
not glosses or makeup but pepper spray.
I’am a 21st century woman. 

Every lonely road is my enemy,
every dark corner my foe,
all unknown men a threat;
but am i safe from the ones i know?
As a woman can i trust no one?
What will it be next?
A mother being raped by her own son?

Be it the lecherous stares in the daylight
the groping hands when i board a bus,
the wolf whistles as i walk on the road
the leery smiles when i stand,
the raucous laughter when i run.
Never seen a woman in your life?
Or are you men so governed by lust?

I now find it hard to trust a man
I hate my womanhood sometimes.
I’am disgusted,i’am ashamed
after all,these men too were born to women.
I’am terrified at the thought of being alone,
i can’t live life, i can’t be me,
and I am a 21st century woman.

A 21st Century Indian woman.

The heinous rape case of 16th December, 2012 sent shock waves of disgust, fear and horror across our nation. On 9th September, 2013 the courts  finally convicted all four accused.  The country still awaits their punishment.

Nine months for the implementation of justice. These nine months have served as a buffer, as a cushion that has absorbed the shock our society suffered. What happens now? The public consciousness is like a sleeping dragon. Poke it, it shall breathe fire, gently stroke it and it goes back to sleep. The initial wave of support and radical change vanishes with the passage of time.  Why do we, as a society react only to a major catalyst? Do we need the death of an innocent to awaken our sleeping conscience? Can we not make an attempt to actually redeem our status us a woman loving nation?

As an educated woman I feel helpless. Join an NGO, protest, raise your voice, yes, but to what extent? Does that change the filthy mentality of a majority of Indian men? Does that empower a woman? No. It does not.

Lets talk about every day routine events. I have observed that when troubled, women are more comfortable in getting off a bus/metro rather than giving a piece of their minds to the man causing them discomfort. We are shy of creating a scene or drawing unwarranted attention to ourselves. Why? Because no matter how appropriately dressed we are, no matter how well behaved and demure we may be, we feel responsible for those lecherous hands and roving eyes.

I am not here to offer radical reforms. I am merely a blip in this ocean. But as an educated woman it rankles me that society attempts a change only when it is provided with a reason. The fact that this verdict will just end up being a headline and the topic of news shows for a couple of days is deeply disturbing.

Is being born a girl a crime?


6 thoughts on “The Verdict, now what?

  1. You know, I remember being a 16 year old girl (27 years ago) and picking up a copy of NAT GEO lying on my mother’s table. The topic: Bride Burning in India. It made me audibly gasp. I was shocked that such a thing could not only happen, but be “commonplace”. Since then, I’ve been intrigued with Indian society and its caste system. I know that brides are still being burned, despite the big “cover up” such as “we don’t know what happened…she went into the kitchen and something just exploded.” Yeah right! Even more than India, I’m interested in Saudi Arabian women and the abuse (both physically and psychologically) they they suffer at the hands of abusive men. In your case, it’s especially unfair because men perpetuate the abuse (lecherous states, groping hands) knowing that more times than not, women will not and cannot rise up against them- giving them full blown permission to carry on. Women are taught that there is little that they can do, and the men know this. Behaviors are “locked into place” from both parties, and society sanctions them.

    I feel your pain! And I can relate to you more than you know. I was raised in a very strict family where it is considered a sin for a woman to wear make-up, jewelry- pants. Patriarchs rule the roost and if you’re a strong female (like me), you’re a problem. Women are taught to believe early on that we are “practically nothing” compared to the man, and really, we’re created simply to serve him. As a teenager, I remember wearing super baggy clothes to try and divert attention away from my body parts, being leered at was an everyday occurrence, there was no where that I felt safe or protected. To make matters worse, I was sexually assaulted by one of the men in my family. I had to just shut up and take it and then remain silent about it for the next 15 years. Believe me when I say- I know exactly how you feel. Your fears are validated!

    Men don’t understand- they are animals at their hearts- brute beasts that are never satisfied- always filling up their eyes with more and more “jiggly parts”. Yes, animals! And there are serious double standards, as you know. Women in Saudia Arabia are slaughtered at half time in the fields of a sports game for “committing adultery” (which consists of riding along unchaperoned in the same car with a man other than her husband)- blood hungry- they cry out for blood, but on the sidelines, carry on in numerous affairs apart from their wives. Disgraceful.

    Don’t even get me started…..ha..

    You should totally read this book:

    It’s an eye opener and I think you could find comfort in it somehow, as I did. it’s empowering to know that a Saudi princess defied her entire country by publishing what really goes on “behind the veil”.

    Thanks for sharing such a controversial topic as you have, and for being so vocal. You’re a strong woman. 🙂


    1. Shall definitely read the book ASAP.
      I am glad you understood and related to what i wanted to say. India may be a developing nation but the backwardness of thought and a prevalent cheap mentality of its society are shameful.

      And double standards in India; where men are supposedly “educated” make me fume like a steam engine.

      At least they let us air our opinions if not safely air our pretty bodies.
      Again, thank you for reading!


  2. I liked your post,you have written what other Indian girls think.It is not a crime to be born a girl.Our society has to change, there should not be any distinction between boys and girls.


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